feedback from Pirate FM

Hi Becky
Obviously this would be illegal because of the tune but as you say you could use a similar ‘feel good tune’ if something like this was actually broadcast as a campaign on radio!
The voice over sounds great (is it you?) and I really like the clips from the ‘real’ people, I think this is a great first attempt, a couple of suggestions would be to try and tone the music down during the content of the commercial so you can hear what is being said as the music drowns the content a bit. Also your commercial is about a minute and a half long which is very unusual for any radio commercials so it might be that you would have 3 or 4 different 30 or 40 second commercials which would rotate on air and be more memorable and more easily consumed by the listener.
I think you have done a really good job as you have’nt attempted anything like this before.
Let me know if you would like any other feedback or help with your project.
Kind regards
A